Share a lesson you wish you had learned earlier in life.
“There is no such thing as a ‘stupid question.’” I have heard that phrase many times in my life. Some folks who say it probably mean it. However, if asking a question somehow makes one feel stupid- as in, “How could you not know that?-” then asking questions is more daunting. That was my experience anyway.
As a young person, I believed that I “needed” to learn many things on my own. I felt I had to put a damper on my wonder and curiosity. I had experienced embarrassment from not knowing something; feeling embarrassed was anathema to a younger me (still triggers me a bit!). Rather than appear “boneheaded,” I would pretend I knew something and later sneak to the library to look it up! After all, Proverbs 17:28 said, “Fools who keep quiet are deemed wise; those who shut their lips are smart.” (At least they appear smart!) I kept quiet for a lot of years! Quite frankly, it was easier to live with ignorance than embarrassment. So I did.
I wish I had known that questions are a sign of courage and curiosity1, not of mindlessness. I have tried my best to help others feel good about asking questions, to never lose curiosity about everything. No subject should be beyond question. Classrooms should be safe places to ask questions. The safe spaces for questions seemed few and far between in much of the first half of my life. The public sphere seems to be becoming less safe for asking questions; that is a travesty.
Questions are a sign of courage and curiosity; they lead to understanding and greater wholeness.
-me (older and more courageous)
I was fortunate to be bright enough to pick up most things in school fairly quickly and tested well. Still, there were misconceptions I carried far into adulthood because I asked few questions.
I am so thankful that I have come to discover questions are the very stuff of life! Questions open new worlds of wonder and even lead to more and deeper questions. Good relationships are borne of good questions:
- Who are you?
- What matters to you?
- What is your story?
- How did you come to see the world the way you do?
- How do you feel?
Those are just a few questions that open the world of relationship! I’ll never forget when in 1992 my study-partner, Linda, asked how I felt about our relationship. Caught off guard and unprepared, I responded with “I value our relationship.” Being the direct person she was and is, she followed with, “What does that mean?” Almost thirty-two years later, I am so glad the initial informational questions led to the night she was courageous enough to ask that big question.
It takes courage and curiosity to ask questions. I ask questions freely and refuse to be made to feel stupid (no one can “make” me feel anything; I have to let them!). I keep discovering more about myself and the world and people and my faith and the Infinite Mystery!
I hope for you that you feel free and freed to ask questions! Everything is more open for discovery with questions; questions are even better than the answers they might bring!
- There are leading questions that do not seek information but merely to discredit or befuddle the one questioned. Those are not curious and courageous questions to me; they are dishonest questions.
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Infinitely Precious 