What could you try for the first time?
There is a fascination in this life with “new things.” What could I try for the first time? The answers are wide ranging as there are many things I have not tried. I find myself wondering aloud- here in writing- what my next new thing could be?
My lifelong obsession for the new almost always comes back around to new books. What will that next new book be? This has become particularly prevalent as I continue to dig ever deeper into the spiritual path. I occasionally delude myself into imagining that there is a “next book” that will finally unveil all the hidden mysteries of the Universe in stark relief. Don’t say it because I already know no such book exists. A person looking around my home might not believe I know that truth based on the number of books in my library.
Knowing the next book is not the magic answer does not always work to hold me back. Sometimes, knowing there is no magic tome, I still buy another book! When I find myself in a particularly anxious spot, heavily laden by my concerns- for the world, for the people I know, about the meaning of life, and the identity of the Infinite Mystery- I might relent to suddenly purchase 2, 3, 4, 5, or more books. In that moment, I am certain this will be the alchemical key to open the door to eternal splendor; it will turn what is leaden in life into golden glory.
When the enchantment of some cosmic primer overtakes me, I console myself by purchasing through Better World Books which gives away a book for every one I purchase. Additionally, I take comfort in buying from Better World Books because their primary business is selling used books; new books are available through their partners. It adds to the thaumaturgy that these books have been touched and utilized by someone else! I am not trying to entice you into buying from BWB; I am sharing that buying from them allows some additional anesthesia to the reality that no new book will contain the “one and only” pearl of wisdom.
Spiritual discomfort is a challenging companion and often an excellent teacher.
Perhaps what I could try for the first time is NOT buying a book for its imagined magical properties and revelatory qualities. I am not giving up on books! I will continue purchasing books for enjoyment. After all, I love to read!
Perhaps I could try recognizing and releasing my magical thinking about the books themselves. Mayhap, I could realize that my discomfort with uncertainty is a symptom of spiritual struggle itself; I do not have to run away from the discomfort. Struggle is also an invitation to sit with the Unknown and infinitely knowable, releasing my desire to know everything. Spiritual discomfort is a challenging companion and often an excellent teacher.
Infinitely Precious 