In the iconic sword duel from the movie “The Princess Bride,” Inigo Montoya battles a masked man, admiring his swordsmanship and acrobatics. When Inigo presses for the man’s identity, he’s met with the response, “Get used to disappointment.” This line has resonated with me deeply.
Disappointment is essentially the failure of our hopes or expectations to materialize. It’s the experience of our wishes remaining unfulfilled. This morning, as I reflected amidst my fairly routine life, I realized that many of my expectations are shaped by my Western, white privilege. The notion that life should conform to my expectations seems almost innate, yet life unfolds unpredictably, moment by moment. Cherishing this present moment – my heartbeat, my breath, my ability to write – is a gift, not a given.
Often, things don’t unfold as I anticipate. I’ve learned to adapt, treating every moment as a lesson in acceptance and response. Instead of resisting what life presents when it diverges from my expectations, I’m learning to anticipate less. Anticipation distracts from the present, leading to disappointment when reality doesn’t align with my expectations. It’s a double loss – missing the present moment and setting myself up for disappointment.
So, how do I handle disappointment? This morning, it involved acknowledging my discomfort with the present and remaining present, rather than fantasizing about a “better” moment. When I stop yearning for something different – often not better or worse, just different – I can truly appreciate what the current moment offers, regardless of its impact. Letting each moment be the surprise it’s meant to be reduces the room for disappointment.
However, I’m not immune to disappointment. When it occurs, I now greet it with a smile, recognizing the unnecessary expectations I had attached to that moment. I share these reflections in the hope that they might assist you in navigating your own moments of disappointment and encourage you to be mindful of the expectations you attach to the future.
Questions to Ponder
- In what areas of your life do you find your expectations frequently unmet, and how does this affect your emotional well-being? Consider times when you may have set unrealistic or unexamined expectations based on your background or life experiences.
- How often do you find yourself missing out on the present moment because you’re caught up in anticipating the future? Reflect on a recent instance where staying in the moment could have changed your experience.
- Think of a recent disappointment you faced. What expectations had you attached to that situation, and what did this disappointment teach you about managing expectations and embracing life’s unpredictability?
Infinitely Precious 