The Beautiful Challenge of Living Successfully

I often ponder the true meaning of success. What do people really mean when they talk about it? Whose interpretation of success are they adopting?

Living in the Western world, I’ve noticed that success is predominantly gauged by wealth and power. This observation isn’t to suggest that these are the only metrics of success, but they are frequently perceived as such. It appears that raw numbers often define success.

For me, the concept of success is both elusive and illusive. Assessing it can be a complicated endeavor. As I’ve grown older, I’ve learned to define “success” on my own terms. Here are some criteria that I’ve increasingly relied upon:

1. Kindness: Have I been kind today? Did I start by being kind to myself and then extend that kindness to others? Kindness fosters gratitude and appreciation for the “other.” Achieving this can be a struggle, especially on days when I wake up feeling off or after a restless night. Anxiety about my day or upcoming commitments can lead to self-criticism, which I then unintentionally project onto others.
2. Silence: Have I dedicated time to silence today? My first activity after breakfast is to engage in centering prayer or meditation. Entering into silence isn’t always achievable; there are mornings when I emerge from my practice without having found inner silence, yet I feel both renewed and tired from the effort of trying. This silence serves as my foundation for the day, allowing me to take each moment as it comes and to let go of unhelpful thoughts or feelings.
3. Mindfulness Before Speaking: Do I pause before I speak or react? This moment of pause can be instantaneous or might not happen at all. It allows me to recognize and release the urge to respond defensively or to prove myself right. By pausing, I discover the ability to let go of the need to dominate a conversation or to emerge as the victor.

What are your personal benchmarks for success? Can you adhere to those standards, measuring your life not by society’s expectations but by your own?

Adopting a more personalized approach to defining success has led me to a deeper sense of inner peace. While external pressures will always exist, and there will be times when we succumb to them, there will also be moments when our lives are truly our own, lived according to our personal standards. What a beautiful experience that is!