I diligently pursue that which is freely given to me. This is the spiritual truth I am increasingly discovering. Raised in a world and a culture that predominantly values what is “earned,” I have subtly subscribed to the notion of continual effort required to attain a place on the spiritual journey.
However, I’ve come to understand that the spiritual journey encompasses every moment. Each moment is imbued with Spirit. Instead of striving harder to secure a place, I repeatedly recognize my powerlessness in creating something that already exists. I can never be separate from Spirit except in my own imagination. Thus, I imagine myself as separate and then strive diligently to overcome the imagined separation so that I can feel entitled to the spiritual life, believing I have earned my place and am worthy of it.
As I feel a smile gently tugging at the corners of my lips and a subtle focus emerging in my eyes, I am once again reminded of a truth I often forget: without mindfulness, I merely sleepwalk through life. The sleeping version of myself is preoccupied with notions of earning, worthiness, and merit, while Love quietly and constantly envelops me.
One of the challenges of the spiritual path is the recurrence of familiar issues. When these issues resurface, I am presented with the opportunity to let go once more. A bonus of this journey is that I am learning to take my ego less seriously while acknowledging its role in shaping my identity. The desire to earn a place, to “achieve” the spiritual life as if it were attainable, is a fantasy of the ego. In doing so, the ego could boast it as another triumph.
So I persist in my practice, in learning and unlearning. I oscillate between awareness of how loved and precious I am, much like many others. Yet, in this present moment, I am fully conscious, and since this moment is all I possess, it is sufficient. I am sufficient.
As the twelve steps aptly highlight, it is a path taken moment by moment.
Questions to Ponder
- How does the concept of “earning” or “deserving” a place on the spiritual journey influence your approach to spirituality?
- Reflect on a moment when you felt the subtle embrace of Love, despite your preoccupation with worthiness or achievement. How did that moment shape your understanding of spirituality?
- In what ways can you cultivate a greater sense of mindfulness and presence in your daily life to deepen your connection with the spiritual journey?
Infinitely Precious 
I personally believe that there is nothing as such to be ‘earned’ in the spiritual journey. It’s a continuum on which we strive towards enlightenment. Mindfulness and meditation are extremely important. Thank you for a good read.
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