We all know what it feels like when our buttons get pushed. An irritating email lands in our inbox, someone cuts us off in traffic, or a family member says something that touches a tender spot. In those moments, our instinct is often to react—to blurt out the first thought that comes to mind, to lash out in frustration, or to say words that later fill us with regret. Reactivity may feel powerful in the moment, but it often leaves us and others diminished.
Jesus modeled another way. Instead of reacting immediately, he often paused, slowed down, and chose to respond with wisdom. One of my favorite examples is when he bent down to write in the sand before speaking to the crowd in John 8. That pause gave space for grace. We can learn to do the same.
I’ve found that cultivating self-awareness is a key. My body signals when reactivity is rising—a tightening in the gut, clenched fists, shallow breathing. When I notice those signals, I know it’s time to pause. A daily practice of meditation and mindfulness has taught me that I don’t have to let every thought out. I can let it go. Simple tools like slowing my breath, repeating a quiet mantra (“Be at peace,” “Have mercy”), or journaling about what triggers me help create a gap between impulse and action. In that space, I find freedom.
Reactivity often escalates conflict. One sharp word leads to another until everyone is on edge. But when we choose response over reaction, we bring calm instead of fuel to the fire. That doesn’t mean we’ll always get it right. Sometimes we’ll still slip up and say the wrong thing. But even then, there is grace. We can apologize, try again, and keep practicing.
Reactivity tells us more about ourselves than it does about the other person. What pushes our buttons reveals our own fears, wounds, and places of growth. By paying attention, we learn not only to respond more compassionately but also to understand ourselves more deeply.
So the next time your buttons get pushed—whether in traffic, on social media, or around the dinner table—pause. Breathe. Remember who you are. Don’t let reactivity rob you of peace. Choose response. Choose compassion. And always remember: you are infinitely precious and unconditionally loved for the gift you already are.
Infinitely Precious 