Returning to Thanks

Some mornings- like today!- I cannot get aligned or grounded in my morning practice. My mind is wandering everywhere even as I sit my meditation/centering prayer. I cannot “draw” or release myself back to the moment. I let go and let go and let go and let go. I may rationalize that this is building my capacity to let go- it may be! However, at the moment, I am not experiencing that.

Finding my attention and intention dispersed like that, I have found a practice to which I can return is gratitude. As my mind dances everywhere but here, I begin to say and/or write some “thank-you’s.” I may begin tentatively; slowly the appreciation flows more freely. Here are some that arise for me today:

• Thank you for this chair that is holding me up.
• Thank you for the gentle breeze I feel flowing through my window.
• Thank you for this warm lap blanket.
• Thank you for this breath, this heartbeat.
• Thank you for Linda, Hannah, and Joshua.
• Thank you for this self, myself.
• Thank you for Mom and Dad.
• Thank you for Brendan, Gabi, Haley, Katie, Manon, Megan, and Mollie.
• Thank you for Sarah.
• Thank you for my work.
• Thank you for Inner Guide.
• Thank you for practice, however it goes.

Having just focused and written my gratitude spontaneously, I feel all the scattered pieces gathering in this well of thankfulness that arises to this practice. The list changes every time I make it; there are some core players especially among my family.

My practice is to write and say aloud these thank-you’s. I let thank-you arise spontaneously and freely. I let this sense of gratitude begin to fill me and wash over me. Suddenly, I am Now-Here. The scattered and scattering thoughts and feelings have gathered Here. I find my ground. It is a welcome surprise, and yet, it is not really a surprise. It is a gift. Presence.

And I am thankful in the Great Unfolding for this moment.