Embracing the Ebb

At times, when faced with life’s turbulence, the self I’ve constructed to protect my ego implodes. I gasp for air, trying to find my bearings. This contraction is a recurring phase in the rhythm of my existence. A particular vulnerability in my introspection gets triggered, and instead of expanding, I contract. My inner critic never misses an opportunity to seize on these moments.

Recently, this contraction was induced by an overwhelming sense of chaos. The world seems to be drowning in it: the brutalities of war, violence in shops and on streets, emotional turmoil in homes, and even the relentless assault of climate change. Then there’s the cacophony of public discourse where people are more intent on drowning each other out rather than listening. My contemplative heart tries to absorb and process all of this, aspiring to bring about positive change.

The spiritual highs and lows in my journey often elicit a smile from me. However, not always. There are times when the lows heighten my reactivity to the dark shadows that lurk within. And there are moments when the highs result in an overzealous positivity that isn’t grounded in reality.

Although I yearn for balance, the chaos around and within continually teaches me a valuable lesson: to cherish the present moment as the precious gift that it is, holding it with tenderness and releasing it with the same ease. This lesson, it seems, is the work of a lifetime…