As the seventh day of Christmas coincided with the last day of 2023, it became a profound moment for reflection for me. This unique overlap marked not just the end of a year but also a time to introspect deeply. I chose this day to ponder the lessons learned, the gifts received, and the grief endured throughout the year. In doing so, I aimed to hold my grief with respect and grace.
Change is constant, a lesson 2023 reiterated emphatically. This year brought home the truth that many assumptions I held about life and my role as a faith leader no longer stood. After 36 years in Christian ministry, I realized that the traditional church model is fading in relevance for many people. There’s a noticeable disinterest and distrust in faith-based institutions, a shift that has affected even my leadership. Despite being a trusted figure, I’ve witnessed a decline in participation in organized classes and worship. The visible expressions of faith are harder to discern, sometimes even in my own life.
My understanding of faith has evolved significantly. I no longer view faith as a matter of “content.” Instead, it has become a symbol of connection, especially in relation to the Infinite Mystery. I’ve realized that any notion of being separate from the infinite is an illusion. The true essence of faith lies in acknowledging our inherent connectedness to the Divine, rather than in accumulating religious content. My role now is not just to curate content but to facilitate a deeper understanding of this connectedness.
This shift in perspective has also brought personal grief. The ways I used to find meaning in discussing the Eternal have been deconstructed, only to be reconstructed and deconstructed again. The stories of my religious tribe still resonate with me, but in ways I hadn’t anticipated. This journey has been accompanied by sadness and fear, as I delved deeper into the Abyss of Infinite Love. As encompassing as Love is, it offers fewer anchor points because it is ever-present and ever-deepening. Navigating this journey often feels like wandering without a clear direction.
These reflections and lessons from the seventh day of Christmas have led me into the new year. I am grateful for friendship, struggle, uncertainty, and change. I grieve the loss of certainty and the familiar path of ascent into “knowing,” embracing instead the path of descent into unknowing. This transition, challenging yet enriching, continues to shape my faith and understanding of the divine.
Infinitely Precious 