Letting Go of the Need to Fix

We live in a culture of fixing. Everything from cracked screens to broken hearts to complicated systems—we’re told there’s always a way to make it better, quicker, neater. And often, that desire to fix comes from a good place: love, care, even hope. But lately, I’ve been learning—and relearning—a difficult but freeing truth: not everything is mine to fix.

This lesson came home to me again during a recent stretch of time with my 96-year-old father, who spent several weeks in the hospital. As his medical power of attorney, I was deeply involved—gathering information, advocating for him, and wanting with all my heart to make things better. I wanted to fix it. But the longer I was with him, the clearer it became: my greatest gift in that moment wasn’t my ability to fix anything. It was simply being present.

It wasn’t always easy. Every part of me longed to do something—to move things forward, to ensure outcomes, to solvewhat was hard. But those efforts, however well-intentioned, often distracted me from the very thing that mattered most: being in the room with my dad. Sitting with him while he slept. Listening when he spoke. Sharing quiet space during meals or silent moments. Those were sacred times. Healing, even.

That’s when I remembered something deeply spiritual: most growth doesn’t come from control. It comes from surrender. Maybe all spiritual growth starts there.

There’s a line I return to again and again—Psalm 46:10: “Be still and know that I am God.” It’s not about doing. It’s about being. And the kind of knowing referenced there isn’t the intellectual kind. It’s relational. Intimate. A knowing that comes not from facts but from presence. Stillness. Trust.

The Tao Te Ching says it this way:

“In the pursuit of knowledge, every day something is added. In the pursuit of the Tao, every day something is dropped.”

Letting go is part of the path.

So I want to offer this reflection to you today: if you find yourself caught in the trap of trying to fix—your life, your loved ones, your world—I invite you to consider another way. What might happen if, even just for a moment, you stopped fixing and started being? What if presence, not problem-solving, is what healing asks of you right now?

Here are a few questions that have helped me reflect in recent days:

• What part of me feels most uncomfortable when something is unresolved?

• Where might I be called to release control and trust the process?

• What does it feel like in my body to stop fixing and just be present?

These aren’t easy questions. But they might point us toward a gentler, wiser way of living. A way that honors love without control. A way that brings us closer to healing without rushing for resolution.

So for now, I’m practicing letting go. I’m releasing the fixer in me—grateful for the reminder that sometimes, the most powerful thing I can do is simply show up. Fully. Quietly. Lovingly.

And as always, dear ones:

You are infinitely precious and unconditionally loved for the gift you already are.