Names, Stories, and Meaning

Where did your name come from?

Names. What do they say about a person? What story do they tell? Are they pointers to identify the one about whom or to whom we are talking or something more?

Birth Names. My given name, James Edward, came from my mother’s step-father (James) and her dad who died when she was young (Edward). We still have conversations about my naming and what it means.

Mom wanted to name me Edward and felt obligated to name me James. No matter. I have come to appreciate my names and also to recognize them for what they are: words or “pointers.” We attach names to persons/places/things and then invest those names with meaning. My names are shorthand that point to “me;” it is not possible for my names to contain all the meaning of me.

The story of my naming came to me much later; I knew I was named for a grandfather I knew, Poppy, and a grandfather I never met who I have come to call Papa Eddie because I wanted to “name” him fondly in my thoughts, reflections, and prayers. I have been told that, though I never knew him, Papa Eddie and I share some common characteristics: he liked to innovate and try new ways of doing things; he found meaning in connecting with others; he liked to preach.

Labels. All of us name ourselves and allow ourselves to be named by others. Here I am thinking of the adjectives and nouns that become attached to us: stupid, less-than, bright, helpful, kind, weird, edgy, gifted, etc. We come to think that these labels have the power to identify us and set a trajectory for our lives. These names or labels become a way we see ourselves at a more foundational level than even our given names.

My relationship to names and identity is changing. I no longer imagine myself shaped by my birth name or by the labels I receive from others or myself. I have also come to know that nothing less than Love has the power to name me; anything else positive or negative is ego.

My name points to “me” without being fully able to contain me. I get to choose my relationship and attachment to that name; I also get to sift the labels that cling to me and hear a deeper truth that I am precious and loved.

What’s in a name? That which we call a rose

By any other name would smell as sweet;

So Romeo would, were he not Romeo call’d,

Retain that dear perfection which he owes

Without that title. Romeo, doff thy name,

And for that name, which is no part of thee,

Take all myself.

William Shakespeare, from “Romeo and Juliet”

I hope you are discovering a process and practice to claim your deepest identity in ways that may include your “name” and do not denigrate or lessen you as a person.