What’s your favorite word?
My practice for these daily prompts is to sit with them a bit to see what rises in me. I pause. Then I begin to write whatever arises. Today, I was surprised- as I often am- when the blogging prompt brought forth this word: Yes.
I must add this disclaimer: “Yes” is not my favorite word because I like it the most. It is my favorite word because I use it so often. It made the “statistical” rather than the “preferential” cut.
I have a long and storied history with “yes.” Because for much of my life I feared displeasing others or not-being-liked by others, I decided “yes” was the best way to placate any person making a request. After all, I did not want to “end up alone!” (Who said any word other than “yes” would leave me alone and lonely? Some fearful child part of me did!)
Sometime in the last twenty years, I began to realize that saying “yes” to everything was effectively saying “no” to other things and people. I cannot hangout with everyone who asks me or attend every meeting and function. The challenge is coming to terms with my own finitude.
Apparently sitting regularly with my limitations, my finitude, has not eliminated the patterned “yes” altogether. When I am awake-in-the-moment, I can discern the yes-no conundrum more fully, being careful to say what I intend. I want to be awake-in-the-moment all the time; I must settle for where I am currently which is awake now with the possibility of being awake in the next now. It is the old mantra, “One moment at a time.”
Let us choose our “yes” carefully and with intention. Otherwise, our “yes” is a word drawn in the sand of a beach near the waves, waiting to be erased.
“Yes” is an almost automatic, patterned response that I learned in my childhood that did its job; it quelled my fears. “Yes” arises today from unconscious “survival” instincts created by the “child me.” This pattern is not good or bad; it is a self-protective pattern that brought me into adulthood alive. I now work to release the pattern; it no longer serves me.
It is a new moment. I will examine once again my use of the word “yes” as a tool. I will keep saying “yes” carefully and with discernment as much as I can. I will also work to say “no” intentionally, knowing that too many “yes” answers is a dishonest way “no.”
Choose your “yes” carefully and with intention! Do the same with your “no.”
Infinitely Precious 